i loved today.
i felt rain drops on my cheeks, the kind where you feel individual drops and have time to notice and soak in each one. i felt inspired to create. i sharpened a pencil with an old fashioned mounted on the wall twisting sharpener. i saw a sunset. i cried twice. i heard from an old friend. i was responsible. i got the butterflies when talking to my one and only. i took a detour and it was pretty fun, but not necessarily pretty. i woke up earlier rather than later. i understood unclear things. i read first, and lived after. i vocalized dreams only to have them challenged so i can better rethink them.

things i want to love about tomorrow:
learn the healers art. find something freshly unique. check out a book from the Harold B. Lee Library. follow the spirit the second i hear it. spend time in nature thinking and appreciating.

hope you loved the good things that happened to you today.
us. maine. 2008.


flash back number one

i decided to post europe in flashbacks. its too overwhelming to do it all at once.


one more piece softened...

my dad sent this quote to me when i was in san francisco this summer. (if you dont remember, i was always really emotional in san francisco because of all the inspiration) devin was filling up the car with gas at costco when i read this quote. of course, my beloved, somewhat inherited, water works started. i'm sure the californians thought i was crazy. devin got back in the car and i was in tears...he probably wondered if he had done something wrong, maybe i was sick, maybe he filled up the tank the wrong way. but- my explanation was the simple Spirit of God converting one more piece of my hard heart. i told him i had just read inspiring words and it probably made more sense:)

enjoy the following as much as i have.

Being Ourselves

--Patricia Holland

“Our Father in Heaven needs us as we are, as we are growing to become. He has intentionally made us different from one another so that even with our imperfections we can fulfill his purposes. My greatest misery comes when I feel I have to fit what others are doing, or what I think others expect of me. I am most happy when I am comfortable being me and trying to do what my Father in Heaven and I expect me to be.

For many years I tried to measure the oft times quiet, reflective, thoughtful Pat Holland against the robust, bubbly, talkative, and energetic Jeff Holland and others with like qualities. I have learned through several fatiguing failures that you can’t have joy in being bubbly if you are not a bubbly person. It is a contradiction in terms. I have given up seeing myself as a flawed person because my energy level is lower than Jeff’s, and I don’t talk as much as he does, nor as fast. Giving this up has freed me to embrace and rejoice in my own manner and personality in the measure of my creation. Ironically, that has allowed me to admire and enjoy Jeff’s ebullience even more.

Somewhere, somehow the Lord “blipped the message onto my screen” that my personality was created to fit precisely the mission and talents he gave me. For example, the quieter, calmer talent of playing the piano reveals much about the real Pat Holland. I would never have learned to play the piano if I hadn’t enjoyed the long hours of solitude required for its development. This same principle applies to my love of writing, reading, meditation, and especially teaching and talking with my children. Miraculously, I have found that I have untold abundant sources of energy to be myself. But the moment I indulge in imitation of my neighbor, I feel fractured and fatigued and find myself forever swimming upstream. When we frustrate God’s plan for us, we deprive this world and God’s kingdom of our unique contributions and a serious schism settles in our soul. God never gave us any task beyond our ability to accomplish it. We just have to be willing to do it our own way. We will always have enough resources for being who we are and what we can become.”

(Portraits of Eve: God’s Promises of Personal Identity, Patricia T. Holland, LDS Women’s treasury: Insights and Inspiration for Today’s Woman {Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1997}, 97-98.)


denna ar for dig dev, halvvag runt om varlden.

this is for you dev, halfway around the world. miss u

hats off to sister megan for another glorious annual glazier family photo shoot captain.