Cope has been good for us. so very good.

i had this long post written about motherhood, and it got deleted. since summarizing my thoughts about all this is daunting enough, this one will be quick, jumbled, and honest.

you hear it said that having a baby is hard. it is.
-hard on your pocketbook.
-hard on your body.
-hard on your patience.
-hard on so many other levels.

but even in the challenging areas there are gains that have come no other way:
-luckily, the words sister Beck said at a worldwide leadership training meeting three years ago have stuck with me, "you don't have children with money. you have children with faith."
-surprisingly, i've never been more accepting of my body since having a child. i'm appreciative and honored to live in something that can do such miraculous things. that's really huge for me.
-.... i'm still working on the patience. but i listened to this talk and laughed and cried.

there are even some surprising rewards i didn't expect. petty things like how my nails have never been so strong or long in my whole life. and of course the serious things like how our marriage is sweeter. like many more notches sweeter. we are more needed, more gentle, and literally more in love.

i wish you heard it said more how rewarding motherhood is. so this is me saying, despite all the hard, nothing in my life has been more fulfilling, humbling, challenging, softening, and exciting. and i love it.