while my house is slumbering...

i took a nap with cope this afternoon. felt good then, but a bad idea now. now i can't sleep. my heart is beating too loudly to let me.

it was a fully lived day. started off rocky. that crying babe alarm clock sounded catching me in a groggy grumpy state from my late bedtime. the past three days i've been happily awake before that sweet sounding babe cries out, and it was so noticeably different today that i don't want to let it happen again. 
three dear people celebrated their birthdays today: my dad's mother, devin's sister, and my visiting teachee. i love each of them. hope they could feel it today.
i resisted buying a pair of unnecessary jeans. the coupon i had didn't work and i was sad at first. later, i think i found the reason, inspiration for just what to do with the saved cash.
the provo library lent me four books. i love the feeling that knowledge gives you. empowerment. 
i didn't make dinner for devin for the second time this week. bad wife, i know. instead, i napped: delicious. we had leftovers: semi-delicious, mostly just cause it was outside on our trusty blanket. excited to start eating out on the lawn like we did last fall.
we went to the park and cope giggled his guttural giggle while dev pushed him ever so slowly in the swing so his large noggin wouldn't topple him overboard. first time on the swings was a success. 
we found el salvador on the map in the park and i prayed for my parents. it was a big day for them and they could always use a spare prayer. who couldn't?
after cope snoozed-i started working on copes crib skirt. he's eight months old and i've just had fabric haphazardly hanging there. got it all cut out to realize that the hem tape doesn't work with sturdy ikea fabric. try again tomorrow.
i got out the journal i wrote in 2007 before i met devin and perused its pages. so many dreams have been fulfilled in ways unimaginable for my narrow-minded brain then. it's pretty marvelous actually.

this week was been fairly transformative. lately i feel like i'm standing getting a glimpse of an incredible view on this hike of life. it's a vista of beauty, showing how greatly the Lord has guided our path, and why every step was necessary to bring us to here. one of those times where you see for yourself that the Lord's plan is better than your own. and yet it's a lot like that time we went hiking with nate and russo- we thought we reached the pinnacle of the hike so we went back down, only to find out later there was a waterfall just around the corner. 

it's nice to see that all the climbing is getting you somewhere, and somewhere beautiful at that.
 it's also nice to know that there are greater things ahead. steeper cliffs and better vistas. bring it on.


bathtime ritual

i took a class in college all about rituals and routines. it was magnificent. some of the greatest mothers i know are great at this part of parenting.

when cope first came home from the hospital we gave him his first bath. i don't remember how it happened, i probably was trying to calm him from screaming himself hoarse. i started singing. i wanted to sing a song about being clean. and almost accidentally, a ritual emerged for our family that i adore.

every time we bathe cope, which used to be everyday until we realized we were only aggravating his poor excema, now every time we bathe cope we sing this song afterward while lathering his precious little body in lotion. i hope he wants to be clean, and be the best he can to live with God again.

I like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain
And ponder on the beauty of an earth made clean again.
I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain.
I want to be the best I can and live with God again.
I know when I am baptized my wrongs are washed away,
And I can be forgiven and improve myself each day.
I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain.
I want to be the best I can and live with God again.