being a mother was the scariest decision i have ever made. i have always known that family is the most important work we can be a part of in our life. that has run through my veins since my childhood. i wasn't scared to get married, but i was scared to start a family. i just doubted that i would be good at it and therefore enjoy it, and a multitude of other selfish worries.
two mother's days ago my parent's were just a month and a half away from leaving. i was two months from becoming a mother. life was uncertain and hard and crazier than it had ever been for devin and i.
last mother's day we were holding our little angel instead of cramming him in my tummy. it was my first real mother's day. to say that things had changed would be an understatement. for devin this year meant no more broken bones, surgeries and scooters and on to healing. no more full time job and on to the life of an entrepreneur. for me it meant no more big bellies and on to big blowouts. no more sleep and on to real fulfillment in life.
this mother's day i'm about to be a mother to two! i can honestly say that life, though fantastic, hasn't slowed down. but at least for our little clan the future is bright. looking back on the past few mother's days i know this gig i got goin is the best i could have right now. it sure aint an easy one, i don't know all the reasons or the answers, but i love it. my fears over becoming a mother were for naught, as they usually are. this is were the good stuff is.
