exiting survival mode

devin went to china for two weeks for work. we booked his tickets two days before he left. cope was three weeks old. i shut down and did the bare minimum to survive. luckily taking pictures can still be done while in survival mode since i uploaded 432 this morning. i spent a lot of time with family, feeling ever so grateful to have such a good one. i'm positive i would've keeled over dead without them. here is what my two week hibernation looked like.

hopefully, this mama bear will get back to living life fully again soon.

Cope has been good for us. so very good.

i had this long post written about motherhood, and it got deleted. since summarizing my thoughts about all this is daunting enough, this one will be quick, jumbled, and honest.

you hear it said that having a baby is hard. it is.
-hard on your pocketbook.
-hard on your body.
-hard on your patience.
-hard on so many other levels.

but even in the challenging areas there are gains that have come no other way:
-luckily, the words sister Beck said at a worldwide leadership training meeting three years ago have stuck with me, "you don't have children with money. you have children with faith."
-surprisingly, i've never been more accepting of my body since having a child. i'm appreciative and honored to live in something that can do such miraculous things. that's really huge for me.
-.... i'm still working on the patience. but i listened to this talk and laughed and cried.

there are even some surprising rewards i didn't expect. petty things like how my nails have never been so strong or long in my whole life. and of course the serious things like how our marriage is sweeter. like many more notches sweeter. we are more needed, more gentle, and literally more in love.

i wish you heard it said more how rewarding motherhood is. so this is me saying, despite all the hard, nothing in my life has been more fulfilling, humbling, challenging, softening, and exciting. and i love it.

4 generations

Copeland is the 50th great-grandchild on the Killpack side.

But surprisingly, he is the first grandbaby to carry on the Killpack name.

Hopefully we can carry that name with honor.

wide open eyes

someone wise warned me that having a boy is like falling in love again. it's true. i could stare at those eyes all day.

i also wish i could memorize every wrinkle, roll, expression, and pose.

no pictures means no posts

for a little over 24 hours sometime last week we couldn't locate our camera charger.

our battery was dead, which meant no pictures until we found it. i think i almost went crazy because i couldn't bear the thought that i may miss documenting every day of cope's life. so silly. 

we found it, and are back in the business of frenzied picture snapping.

first few days of life

i feel like i'm finally living. this is what it is all about. i don't have the capacity to express what joy it is to have a fresh soul from God. mr. dickens said something of what i have been feeling the past few days:

I love these little people; and it is not a slight thing when they, who are so fresh from God, love us.

-Charles Dickens-

so cute when he crosses his eyes

i'm a mom. 

first car ride

we love our son

hates bathtime

skinny legs

nothing better than catching a smile.

7.21.2011

for now, i will let the pictures do the talking.

photos by my sister